did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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