Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
