He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
