i would punch a child for taco bell
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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