actually, I'm a sock model
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
