just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
