I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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