Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
