Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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