I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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