Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
