Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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