Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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