just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
