doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
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