Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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