but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
it's like iHOP with fire
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
