I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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