I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
