Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
