Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
