What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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