we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
