all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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