yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
