you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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