You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
did i walk over a car last night?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
