420 ftw
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
