I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm gonna have a badass scar
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
