Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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