My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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