People in love make me want to vomit
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
