She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
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