@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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