She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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