areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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