go do what you do best...puke behind churches
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
