We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
