Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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