wrigley field is MILF paradise
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
