I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
