Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
