just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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