Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
areolas are like halos for boobs.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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