I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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