Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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