i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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