I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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