and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
