oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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