Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
