so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
