It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
