Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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